The Waluigian Bibble
by searingsteam
Summary: Follow the stories of Waluigi and his expansive family.


Chapter 1 - Bob Ross

The universe was huge and expansive, getting bigger by the second, but it was void of anything, but darkness. Suddenly, the universe started to implode onto itself. Then everything got hot, a huge explosion occurred and a being all-powerful was born. This is known as the big bang. The universe started anew and began expanding, cooling down as it got bigger. The being created was a god. Of all the times the universe restarted itself, this was the first time it created life. The being was in a state that existed, but did not at the same time. The being created itself a physical form and gave itself a name. His name was Bob Ross. He was in this universe alone, so he decided that he would make this place as great as he could. Thus, he created two tools which he called a paintbrush and palette. He covered his palette with a variety of magnificent colors that the human eye couldn't even see and began to work.

He created the giant sphere of light we call stars. These stars were put into groups that we call galaxies. In each galaxy he went to a certain number of stars and created the things we called planets. On certain planets he created life. Beautiful greenery and marshy wastelands. The planets that thrived with vegetation were chosen by Bob to host all sorts of life. Some with only a few dozen species, others with up to fifteen million.

Once Bob had set life in motion he went back to his original plane of existence. There he created a kingdom. It was extensive and incredible. He created a massive palace so he could rest inside.

Bob Ross grew lonely being the only one capable of existing in his kingdom. He decided to create a family to rule the worlds he created with. He started on his first son, using the same tools he did to decorate the universe.

He spent years creating his first son. Eons had passed in the living world. When he finally finished he stepped back to admire his work. His first son was tall and skinny, standing at 6'7''. His attire consists of a purple shirt with dark purple overalls over it. He had a purple hat to match his shirt with a golden, upside-down L on the front of it. His face was angular, with a pointed mustache, and a big pink nose.

"Welcome my son," Bob said. "Welcome to my kingdom."

"What is this place?" he asked. "What am I?"

"This is my kingdom and you are my son, Waluigi," Bob explained. "We are gods who live in a world above everything else. We can create as we please and we can destroy as we please. I have grown lonely after filling the mortal universe, and so decided to create a family to rule over it with."

"We are gods," Waluigi said. "Is that why I can feel the presence of countless forms of life?"

"Yes, we are able to recognize if something is alive or not by the feel of its energy being emitted across the cosmos," Bob answered.

Waluigi explored the kingdom that his father created. It was astonishing. Waluigi wondered how long it took for him to make it so perfect. As Waluigi toured the wide halls and beautifully decorated rooms, he realized how lonely it was. No wonder Bob had created him, staying alone in this quiet palace must have been hard.

As Waluigi's exploration came to an end, he decided to check out the living world. As he descended from his godly state he felt a very unique presence. His body melted into light and traveled throughout the universe to where the presence was. As he approached the planet that emitted the unique presence, he noticed something interesting. There were animals using tools and building houses for survival. Waluigi took an interest in these animals as there intellect could someday rival the gods. Some of them even had other animals as companions.

Waluigi took their form and went to greet them. As soon as he landed in their small village they took a defensive stance.

"Please do not be concerned, I only stopped by to see what you have created." Waluigi said.

The majority of the people went inside their small houses. The ones still outside held spears in Waluigi's direction. After a couple of very awkward seconds, a muscular man with a sharpened stone for a sword by his side came out of the biggest house. He was accompanied by another man who looked similar to him.

"What do you need from us?" the man said.

"That is rather hard to answer, but I assure you that I have no ill intent." Waluigi said.

"It doesn't matter what you say. This country is in the middle of a war and we don't need magicians coming to tax any further." one of the men holding spears shouted.

"Silence!" the man yelled. "I'm sorry, the younger ones act on impulse more often than not. If you are not a magician than are you perhaps associated with the adventurers guild?"

"No, I'm somewhat new to this place." Waluigi said. "I guess you could say I'm something much more than you. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to talk to someone knowledgeable about this world."

"We wouldn't mind helping a traveler, but at the moment we're in a bit of a crisis."

"Oh? I wouldn't mind helping you as payment for your knowledge."

"Very well, come with me and I'll explain the details." the man said gesturing Waluigi to follow.

Waluigi followed the man and one other into a house in the middle of the village. It had only one room with two beds against the wall, a fire pit for cooking, and a dining table. The three of them sat down at the table that had half a plate of warm food and an empty cup.

"A couple days ago our village was attacked by a gang of goblins." The man explained.

"And why do you think I can help?" Waluigi asked.

"Are you an idiot? You've been unleashing such astronomical force of power it's scary. Any country would kill countless innocent lives just to have you on their side." The other man said.

"Oh. I didn't think that mortals would be able to feel it." Waluigi said.

"Normal humans wouldn't be able to. Only people who have learned magic can feel the energy of another. You should conceal your power unless you want to attract the attention of monsters or other magic users." the man said.

"Monsters? Are they born with magic abilities?"

"Some are, but most aren't. Monsters usually have low intelligence, so they evolved to sense the power of another and will retreat if they're uncertain whether they'll live or not in a fight."

"I see. You know magic, so why do the goblins attack your village?"

"There are only two of us in the village that can use magic. The goblins that attacked us had a goblin mage with them, along with around twenty five goblins. Three of our men were killed when they attacked us and they kidnapped several women and children. We killed five of them, but at the rate they multiply, that won't stop them."

"Alright, I'll do what I can to help you."

"I appreciate it. By the way, my name's Joe and this here is my little brother, Mac."

"My name is Waluigi."

"What kind of name is that?" Mac asked.

"Don't be rude! He just said that he would help us." Joe exclaimed.

"Well then, let's see if we can find this goblin nest." Waluigi said.

And so Joe gathered a handful of the strongest men in the village and they set off.

"Their stronghold is deep in the woods." Mac said. "They're set up in a cave east of the village."

Waluigi walked for thirty minutes. The air was humid in the forest. As they got closer to the cave he could smell something putrid.

"Here, beyond these trees is the opening." Mac said.

Waluigi peered over the bush they were hiding behind and a horrible smell wafted through the air. A few feet away from the entrance of the cave a pile of animal carcasses and feces sat, giving off the worst scent he had ever smelled. In front of the entrance were two goblins keeping watch. One had a spear, much like the men from the village, and the other one held a small stone knife.

"Ash and Trey, ready your bows and shoot on three." Mac said.

The two of them grabbed their bows and readied their arrows, aiming at the goblins head.

"One, two, three." Mac said.

They let go of the string and the arrow shot towards the goblins and pierced their head,

throwing them on the ground. With that the group moved forward. They threw the goblin corpses onto the disgusting trash pile. Joe lit a torch and the group headed inside.

The air was humid inside. The echoes of water dripping could be heard throughout the cave. Brief sounds of scratching and grunting could be heard farther down. The group eventually came to a fork in the cave.

"We'll have to split up," Joe said. "Half of us will go right. Mac you take half and go left. Waluigi you come with me."

"Stay safe and run if there's danger," Mac said. "No matter what happens, you must live."

The group split up and Waluigi headed down the right tunnel. A little ahead there were two goblins. One sat eating a small animal, the other hitting a log with his knife. Joe and one other rushed in and killed them before they could react.

"They're practicing." someone said.

"I thought they were idiots, there's no way they know swordsmanship." someone else replied.

"They are smart enough to use weapons, so it is not surprising that they would practice to kill their prey." Waluigi said.

The group continued on through the cave. A little further ahead light was coming around a corner. Various grunting and other sounds echoed louder now.

"This must be it," Joe said. "Ray, you use your magic to distract them, then we'll rush in and kill them before they have time to react."

A skinny boy with snow white hair came up from the back of the group. He mumbled something, then suddenly disappeared.

"Where did he go?" Waluigi asked.

"Nowhere, just focus on where he was and you'll be able to see him." Joe explained.

Sure enough, when Waluigi concentrated on finding him, he reappeared right before his eyes.

"What is that?" Waluigi asked.

"It's a camouflage spell," Ray explained. "It doesn't make me invisible and any experienced magician can see through it, but for goblins it's perfect."

Ray walked into the open and, just like he said, none of the goblins noticed him. The others readied themselves and their weapons. They waited for Ray to use his magic, but he just sat there with a surprised look on his face.

"Ray what's wrong? Hurry up before your camouflage wears off." Joe said.  
"R-right." Ray stammered.

Ray threw his hands in front of him and they began to glow dimly. Suddenly a burst of wind and fire shot into the room full of goblins. On cue the entire group ran in while the goblins were still registering what had happened. Joe sliced up one after another with his sword.

At the far end of the room, a goblin in robes with an animal skull placed on his head like a crown, started screaming and was gathering light at his hands like Ray did. Waluigi took note of this and instinctively created and shot a shard of ice into the goblins head.

When the fighting finally subsided Waluigi noticed something. The women the goblins kidnapped were scattered across the room violated and broken. Their eyes hollow and lifeless.

Joe held one in his arms. "Despicable creatures. They deserve their death ten fold."

The group remained silent, carrying the women back. At the spot where the two groups split sat Mac.

"Did the others go back already?" Joe asked.

Mac sat, staring at the ground. "No, we ran into a trap and a hob-goblin. The others didn't make it out, but I killed that bastard."

With that the groups morale was the lowest it had ever been. They headed back to the village. The citizens of the village helped the women and children settle into the church for healing

"A sad sight." Joe said. "We don't have any priests in our village and none of the villagers know any more than first aid."

There was yelling across the church, "My baby! Where is my child, he was taken by the goblins, so where is he!"

"W-we don't know maam, we searched very thoroughly and made sure there were no more people in the cave." Ray explained.

The woman fell on the floor and broke into tears. At another end of the church, one of the soldiers was screaming in pain.

"Make it stop! This is too much!"

All across the church were women and children sitting, covered in blankets, with looks of despair on their faces. Screams from the victims echoed through the room like a chorus of terror.

"Come on man, stay with me!"

Near the middle of the room sat a statue made of marble, with a twelve-foot tall man clothed in white robes with a featureless face. At his feet sat a man inches away from death. Waluigi walked up to him.

He knelt next to him. His chest and belly were cut open and nearly his entire body was covered in blood. Waluigi pressed his fingers to his forehead and closed his eyes. He sent warmth through his arm, to his hand, his fingers, and it flooded into the man's body. They started to glow and Waluigi could feel the man's body start to heal. The bones growing and mending back together, the ripped organs reforming, the flesh start to rebuild. When he felt he was done he stood and backed away. Everyone around Waluigi stared in awe.

"How did you do that?" Mac asked.

"I'm not sure. It just felt like the right thing to do." Waluigi answered

"Well, can you heal the others?"

"I can try to do it again."

Waluigi then healed the ones who had the most severe wounds. The others had already been treated with first aid by the time he was done.

"Waluigi, can we talk for a minute?" Joe asked.

Joe led him out of the church and back into Joe and Mac's house. Inside Mac and Ray were sitting at the table. Joe urged him to take a seat.

"Just who are you?" Joe asked. "Not only were you adept at fighting, but you also used healing magic unheard of."

"I'm sorry, but I am also not too sure how I did it. My body moved on its own for the most part." Waluigi explained.

"It still makes no sense. Where are you from? Are you Estell royalty, or some kind of noble?" Mac asked.

"No, I come from somewhere much further away."

Waluigi then told them about everything. How his father, Bob Ross, created the world, how he was born a god and descended into the mortal realm.

"So, there have been gods out there all along?" Mac asked.

"That's correct. But as far as I know, We have never given any indication about our existence." Waluigi said.

"I hope you don't intend on making us worship you." Joe said.

"That's fine. I won't force anyone to give their life up just to serve me, but I can't say the same thing for the other gods." Waluigi explained.

"Wait a minute," Mac said, "there are more gods?"

"Well, the last time I was in my father's kingdom, the only ones there, were my father and I, but now I can feel the presence of six more."

Joe noticed how quiet Ray was being, "What's wrong Ray?"

Ray said, "It's nothing, it just seems so surreal to be talking to a god."

"Well, I suppose I should be going." Waluigi announced.

"What? But I still haven't told you anything about this place." Joe said.

"It's fine, I would have preferred to learn more, but my father is calling me, so I'll have to leave."

"You're welcome to come back anytime." Joe said.

"Thank you. By the way, I never heard the name of this village." Waluigi said.

"Styx." Mac answered. "Our village is called Styx. We're about two days worth of traveling south-east from the Estell royal capital."

"Thank you. I don't know when, but I will return."

With that Waluigi dissolved into light and ascended toward the sky.


End file.
